i'm in a big trouble...
i feel something
that i can't explain with word
i am just i
i can't do something that i hate...
i wanna lie
i wanna die
just if i want
but, in the fact
i don't wanna to do that
i wanna cry
i wanna die
just if i want
and, the real
i never wanna to do it

i'm here
with him
stay, and keep in silent
i can't say anything
i'm afraid
i will hurt his heart
i don't wanna say good bye...

but,
how can you make me understand
i miss you...

i want to know,
that's a bullshit
but... that's my heart speak

i just stand and walk
in the darkness and
concetrate of love
and, maybe my mind
never wanna cooperation
with my feeling
to understand
i'm not lonely...

a man stand by my side...
i don't know lots of him
i just know
he is very kind
but, he can't give me
something that i want...
i can't say what it is,
because
i don't know too

i want you to know
how my love to you
affecting my reality
maybe it never disturb you
but it has almost of my time
to thinking
and until now
i can't choose...

live with him
and triying to love him
or
leave him
and triying to understand
i'll be alone...


-Els-

Hi.....
Wanna to Say
Merry Christmas
and
Happy New Year

HmHm

Okay, i can't breath fluently...
i'm so worry 'bout my test's result, okay, i've done all of the test well,
but i'm afraid i make my parents disapointed with me...
God bless me please, give me your wings so i can fly in the sky...

My Story?!?!?!

I want to tell a lot of my feeling now.... I feel no good, but no bad too... how can i tell it to you? my self can't understand it, I miss... something in my life, I need time, i need chance... i need someone, and that's you, can't you understand it??? i need you, now and for forever. i don't care anything beetwen us. i don't wanna know all people's say i only want you to know, i miss you

My New Life

I never imagine,

I'm here with my new life.

I'm a stranger here, but I'm enjoy it...

Every day i always think 'bout my Mr.charming.

'What is he doing now?'

But never there's a answer.

The other hand,
I'm start to feel my school's life,
i have friends, i know the teachers...
and i find someone. ^^

and, for my old friends,

i miss you all so much!

All 'Bout My Family,

I have a perfect Pop, and a great Mom, I love them very much...
I have a older brother, so nice,
I have two younger brothers, they are so funny,
I really love my family, more and more when i'm here, so far with them.
I never want to leave them, they always in my heart and my mind. If I meet them again, I never wanna make lots of stupid mistakes like when I was live with them, i'm so sorry.
Now, I want all people in the world know, I REALLY LOVE MY FAMILY SO MUCH!!!