i'm in a big trouble...
i feel something
that i can't explain with word
i am just i
i can't do something that i hate...
i wanna lie
i wanna die
just if i want
but, in the fact
i don't wanna to do that
i wanna cry
i wanna die
just if i want
and, the real
i never wanna to do it

i'm here
with him
stay, and keep in silent
i can't say anything
i'm afraid
i will hurt his heart
i don't wanna say good bye...

but,
how can you make me understand
i miss you...

i want to know,
that's a bullshit
but... that's my heart speak

i just stand and walk
in the darkness and
concetrate of love
and, maybe my mind
never wanna cooperation
with my feeling
to understand
i'm not lonely...

a man stand by my side...
i don't know lots of him
i just know
he is very kind
but, he can't give me
something that i want...
i can't say what it is,
because
i don't know too

i want you to know
how my love to you
affecting my reality
maybe it never disturb you
but it has almost of my time
to thinking
and until now
i can't choose...

live with him
and triying to love him
or
leave him
and triying to understand
i'll be alone...


-Els-

Hi.....
Wanna to Say
Merry Christmas
and
Happy New Year

HmHm

Okay, i can't breath fluently...
i'm so worry 'bout my test's result, okay, i've done all of the test well,
but i'm afraid i make my parents disapointed with me...
God bless me please, give me your wings so i can fly in the sky...