Can't hold on with this!!!

You are my fire
The one desire
I drive my self crazy
Thinking of you

Dear Ester

There is nothing perfect... So, what can we do to make it better? There is nothing best to make me feel better. How could they understand mind if I can't understand mine? And now,let the time make it worse, because I can't make it better like you try to do. So bad to know that I couldn't be better. Give the attention to more warning, just blinding the story and how my imaging throw away my logocal and no one can save my mind along the straw, long down deep in the bleeding save the mourning jack. What should I do to save myself from his power? To make me have a little bit convidence to make a way between us. So I can understand how far distant about us...

O'O

Sooner or later
I gotta choose...
And may I?
Once again, I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way OUT!!!

You Are

You are the reason I must leave the day
You are the reason I need to forget everything
You are the reason I should give up fight life
You are the reason I couldn't see the sun
You are the reason I never understand hurt
You are the reason I worth the word, love
You are the reason I ask, What for adam was being...?!?

You and I...

Never want to move from where I stand
But, the wind whispers to my ears
Tomorrow can not wait for us
Today will not forget us
So, I walk away trough the day
Where I pass with you forever...

I'm Ellen.

No one here.
Life is unfair.
Still hoping so much.
Here I am. The worst.

Right Here, Right Now

When my dad said

'What I have to do' I did.

When my mom hated

'What I have done' I stop doing.

My dad tells me what to do,

I'm going to never do.

My mom asks me to stop once again,

I still doing.

Is this the time?

When I can say, rebel age...

Refuse anything when I fell I was refused.

Dislike anything when I think I was disliked.

A part of me, a pardon.

A worthy of values. Keep inside.

Where?

Onto mine.

To much lie, too much cry.

Do I want to die?

I lost my felling to alive.

But, I'm not ready yet.

Let I walk along the street.

By myself to think about my life, once.

Els-

But, I Have No

No reason to stop loving you... Thought... Somebody else came between us, I was trying to understand that you were not for me. I love you. Damn. But, I could not leave anything behind. I wanted to say good bye before you did it. I wanted to hurt you before you did it to me. Damn. In fact, I let you did all of it to me. And, I am still hoping so much. I love you. Damn. I asked to myself, what is the reason of this? But, I have no reason to kill my heart too. Here, keep waiting for you. Damn. You came back to me, when she left you. I said, I'm waiting for you. I love you. I accepted you in my life as the greatest grace. Damn. All of my happiness I brought in front of you. Hope you never go again. Because I have no, I have no reason to guide you next to me. Because I have no, no right to save you by myself only. I love you. Damn. You left me behind, over, over, over. Because you have no swear dear me, because I have no rule about this relation. Damn. I am too proud to lose. I am to shy to ask. Do you ever love me? Inside of yours, I have no, no place, no time, no, no, nothing... Damn. I love you. Now, let the reality brings you back to her. And I am waiting for the dreams again...

Behind... The Scene... Just A lie !!!

I open my eyes
I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light
I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I’m lying here tonight

And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what happened
And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t

Y o u ? ! ?

Have no chance to get tomorrow for us.
Little hard to believe in you.
So difficult to trust myself.
How hurt is it???
How long should I hold on???

Will?

It is little too late for me to search of you

If I tought you will find me

I am wrong

But, if there is one thing in this world

That I know it's true

It is the love that I feel
when I'm thinking of you

When I'm thinking of you

And I keep waiting for you

Even if you never come back

Lead Me Right Back ToThe Start

When the tomorrow comes you'll gone slow down I want to hold on you but you whisper in my ears and ask me to leave I feel your resistance in your body but I'm not sure everything I saw, just your shadows, everything I heard just about you. The taste of love, how hurt it is, I didn' t give up. Hard to live with shadows by my side but the future is too hard to promise. Everybody is waving in the crowd to get a smile but they never saw me crying. I'm alone waiting for someone to love, again.

The Forgotten

No one here
No one hears
No one cares

The tears dear my torn

I love you
That's all I know
And it's too late to understand
Good bye, my first
The best wishes in your new life

Hope you live happily ever and after.

S1-38

I am sorry.
Never begging you, please don't go.

1st Runner Up?!?

"What do you think?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Since when do you care?"

"Since last week, it caught my attention."

"So?"

"So, I suddenly admired..."

promise
to denied
my heart's speak
just decided
to forget
this feeling

is this hurt?

live in harm

starting to know
how pain it is

trying to hold on
hiding my tears

even if I love you

How could I reMember ???

What will you expect from me?
What is the answer that you need?

Whatever I did,
Wherever I went,
Whenever I was,
Would you care?
No more, please
No heart
No hurt

Is This?

Look into my eyes
You'll find the love that I keep dear you










Who am I?

Never feel,
But Think,
Say...

I'm Here. Are You There???

"I thought, you said to be here at one???"

"I did."

"How come?!? No one's here!"

"I'm here!"

"Umh, I think, I'll let you guys talk, I'll see if there needs help."

"K..."

"How if I need your understood?"

"No more."

"I beg a little..."

"Never."

"Can't you understand?"

"How can I?!?"

"Give me a little space in your heart..."

"So mind!"

"Too tired..."

"Damn perfect!"

"So do you!"

"No!"

"Hey, both of you..."

"Holy no!!"

"I'm too shy to ask, I'm too proud to loose"

Looking into your eyes
makes me believe that in this world
there is no hurt

Hold your hand
makes me know that in this life
nothing is imposible

Walk with you
makes me understand
how beautiful and painful the word, love...

Die Go

Too many places
Too much time
Too many loves

Too many times
'Fall'ing in love
Isn't it 'hurt'?

Just one is special
And never changed easily

Just play with word
If want to stay in harm
Do it, no one cares

Too tired to say worthy
For something useless
And full of bullshit

Too much sorry
But, nothing

WHAT IS MY FOOL?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?

WHERE IS MY FAULT?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?

SO DAMN PERFECT FRIENDSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I JUST NEEDN'T TO KNOW

THAT I NEED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

-_-""

Sometimes I feel so fool because I thought I like you...

Am I Lonely? But Enough...12

Tonight...
I catch your shadows in my eyes
I find your pictures in my mind
I hear your voices in my imaginations
I feel that you are next to me
And, again...
What can I do if I am falling in love with you?
Too much lie Too much cry Too much die
And, again...
I wanna lie I wanna cry I wanna die
'Cause I couldn't capture you inside me
I was walking by your side
You said too much about this life
Couldn't remember anything except hurt
And I'll be there to care you
To make sure you that I was for you
But, again...
Whoever I was Whatever I did Wherever I was
You never looked at me
Just searching the perfect else
I was not
I was sorry
And, again...
I am
I am sorry

And...

May I find the candle? Just for lighting my way to go on. You gave me the chance to repair all of my mistakes, but why I just couldn't see the point. I was looking for something useless, and know I am dissapointed with my choose. Can I replay the time, back to beg for my fall... You, I never know. I never care. Just let it go. Leave me behind you and find the perfect one. I just the failure. I can't give the love that you need, I will pardon the fool. You, and I will not leave my way, even if it hurt me, torn my soul, fallen my tears, pull me down into the black hole, I do not care. I want to play with word, LOVE. And get hurt, once, twice, three times, over, over, and over. More please.

The Failure

When I was down,
I just found you,
and why whatever I did
you were there, above me...